Looking for some inspiration, made your way into the night? Looking for a fun, lighthearted, if a little too sweet film to ease your mind? What about a piece that might blow you off your feet, take your breath away? Well, Miss India definitely can do that. Only in all the wrong ways.
Once there was this Indian girl (Keerthy Suresh) from middle-class who promised her granddad she would make his name famous. She made it her goal to go against the tradition and her parent's wish and instead of finding a good husband, Manasa Samyuktha chose not to work, but to follow her dream. To do an MBA and start her own business. Fair enough. After a series of unfortunate events (sister marrying off without parents' blessing, granddad dies, father is diagnosed with Alzheimer disease), there comes a blessing in the form of Manasa's brother scholarship. So the family moves to the United States of America, a promised land untouched by the power of chai. The hot beverage that Manasa will build her future empire on.
As usual, there are some obstacles on the way. Some rigid expectations from the family and the society, slow-mo lover-boys that mean well, sleezy sexist entrepreneurs that don't mean well and friends that are better kept closer. Well, on the upside, “Miss India” is more colourful than Iceman: The Time Traveler or Iceman 2: The Time Traveler. On the downside, it makes about that much sense. Even if you accept the idea that the the West Coast has no idea about chai. In the era after The Beatles meeting with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi or Eat Love Pray.
The dialogues and even the characters are mixture of telenovelas, inspirational quotes, business 101 definitions, and cheap machizmo, all on too much caffeine. Or cinnamon, nutmeg and strong black tea. Whatever it is, you'll wish you were on it too. Because these things you will not unsee nor unhear. Like the heaps of the single-serving cups, Palette Vital man, or the fact that betrayal has been a practice since Mahabharata. And when it comes to fighting gender-based prejudice and sexism, Miss India is pure 50 shades of gender equality.
The storytelling logic has not even visited this house and you rather let the better of your brains go. Brace yourself for meaningful images of enlightened set decoration, time-loops, slow-motion takes, or montages of them all. Brace yourself for the stock photos to turn into promotion videos of the local travel office linearly lined in the narrative pattern of quick escalations and dramatic cliffhangers. To top the pudding with a cherry, the only things that beat the over-processed travelogue candy-shot galore is the over-processed men aplenty. Moreover, “Miss India” managed to round up the creme de la creme of non-Indian bad acting that beats all the yelling imperialist dudes in Chinese productions combined.
“Miss India” is like an Instagram account of an influencer. It screams of inspiration, positivity, motivation. Yet, all these good vibes vibrate on all the wrong frequencies. It so much wants to give a determined and smart heroine, but Manasa comes out so naive it hurts. Her fights, however real in life are just ridiculous, just as are the manstacles on her way to Mercedes and beyond.
I won't bore you with further details, readers.
I don't even wanna waste your time,
Let's just say that maybe,
Miss India won`t help to ease anyone's mind.
Nope, it ain't Miss Right,
not even if you're looking for fast chai.
Love. Dream. Laugh. Awake, arise, don't stop until you reach your goal.
